Who says I’m crazy?

I am weird. People tell me that all the time. Some are kinder though and opt for the more subtle “kakaiba ka”. It doesn’t really matter what they call me. I don’t deny it anyway. I am weird, relatively and literally.

I have habits that are borderline anal and some that are tolerable as eccentric. Take for instance my habit of arranging my money. I like to have all my paper bills (Is this redundant? Kindly correct me.) and sometimes even my coins in a certain way. I can say it’s not that obsessive since I only want them to be arranged from smallest to highest in terms of denomination. When that is done, the ones of the same denominations are arranged from oldest, crumpliest, dirtiest to newest, crispiest and cleanest. Also they must be all “facing” outward with one common ground. Meaning, the faces must…uhm… face forward and that they are all in the upright positions. Really, it’s not that obsessive. I mean, I don’t do that to the coins since they just roll around anyway, so no use in having them upright. They still have to be facing the same way and must be arranged by increasing amounts though.

See, I am not mental. I am completely sane. There’s this other thing though. I can’t and will often not use utensils if they are not “pairs”. To be more specific, if the make, material, color, weight and/or design of the fork is not the same as the spoon, one has to go depending on what I am about to eat. I can sense the ever so slight difference in the weight of the utensils and that bothers me. The thing that bugs me the most is if the one has an intricate design and the other is just plain. I would sooner use my hands than the unpaired utensils. (This is not really a pairing issue, but since I’m already talking about utensils…) Then there’s the plastic utensils. It not only uses fossil fuels to produce, it also causes pollution. Oh, and they are harder and flimsier to use than the severed foot(claw?talon?) of a chicken… not that I ever tried using that. There are just times that I do use unpaired utensils such as when I choose not to be rude to the homeowner or my hunger brings me to the brink of bad judgment. So if you have plans on feeding me, make sure you have matching utensils or serve finger friendly food.

I am the picture of perfect mental health. Not a sign of psychological instability in sight. Oh, and I almost always never pass through anything triangular. Things such as ladders leaning on walls, guy wires of electrical/telephone posts, angled beams, fallen trees leaning on walls, the Eiffel Tower, the Pyramids of Giza… Ahem… Right. Anyway, yeah… I don’t pass through anything triangular in shape. This roots from the belief that walking under a ladder gives you bad luck. I know it’s silly but I believe in certain superstitions especially if they are generally harmless and more on just having something odd to believe in. Don’t worry, I don’t believe in sacrificing virgins… seeing as they are just a few of us left. Just the normal, non-crazy superstitions for me. Like not cutting nails during the night or not opening umbrellas indoors or if someone taps you must tap them back. I don’t want to spoil your fun, so I won’t tell you the reasons and histories of these superstitions. Look them up yourself and see if you are as sane as me.

No strait-jackets, no sedatives for me. I am just your normal everyday Joe. A normal Joe that folds and itemizes every piece of clothing before I bring them to the laundry shop. Yeah, I must have all articles of clothing tagged, logged, noted and finally folded properly before I have them laundered. The list must indicate the quantity, color, material, size, any distinctive marks and brand/manufacturer of the item. I don’t want other people wearing my shirts and much worse *aghast* me wearing theirs.

Really, those things I mentioned above can be present in anyone. Who wouldn’t want to have an organize wallet? Who would be comfortable using a plastic spoon paired with a silver plated fork? Who would want to reuse a table napkin with spaghetti sauce all over it? Well, you’re own spaghetti sauce on your own napkin. I mean, when I eat at a fast food chain then I eat something with sauce or anything that leaves residue on my face then I wipe it with an unused table napkin/tissue, I don’t reuse that napkin/tissue again. Even if it’s still clean on the other side, I most often won’t use it again. I know it’s a waste of paper, kills a lot of trees and is expensive but I just can’t help crumpling an already used napkin/tissue. There are only 2 times I reuse a table napkin/tissue and that’s if it’s the expensive one with a gazillion plies and (of course) given to you sparingly by the establishment and if the sauce if splattered across your face and the nearest available clean napkin/tissue is 3 tables away. Other than that, gimme them table napkins/tissues.

So you see, I am weird but I am far from being hell-bent obsessive. I can still control these habits and can still smile perfectly even if my brain is screaming, “Sacrilege! Blasphemy!” Now leave me alone while I make sure that my shoe laces are lined up equally.